Merry Christmas Dad-Cat Soft Shoe
a hungry man's dinner
the hungry man wanted some food so the hungry man ate up the english toffee ice cream, which he would have had for dessert after dinner, but he ate it at breakfast then he made one egg and one egg white and put it on toast with lots of grated cheddar cheese — the rest of the bag he ate the ice cream again because he couldn’t stop thinking about how the ice cream was almost done and...
Graham doesn’t want you to have pizza for breakfast.
Now that it’s 2011, I am embarrassed that I wrote a memoir.
i asked sheila for a fiction writing assignment
“Pretend everything is a kettle and everything is tea. What does it taste like when you sit down at 3 in the afternoon?” Everything is Kettles and Tea I found a mouse in the kettle today. I was looking for my customary morning tea, which on any ordinary day would just appear in the kettle like magic. Though, to be clear, it is not magic at all but simply the order of things. There...
overheard at the Y, via ejsmont
I open the sauna door at the Y. Portuguese guy to Filipino: “So if you eat the monkey brain, you get closer to God.” “Really?” “Yeah.” (beat) “You mean the monkey God?” “No, I mean God God.”
no one is buying my second book so i'm writing...
Rose “Good almond, bad almond.” Stadler paused. “Good almond, bad almond.” Stadler paused again, then continued to mutter to himself. “Good almond, good almond, bad almond, good almond.” Stadler checked his giant cell phone. There was no message from Steffler. He would have heard it ring, so obviously Steffler hadn’t called. Stadler went back to the bowl of nuts he’d carefully placed in the...
The rest is coming.
My publisher didn’t like my old blog, so I’ve started this I LIVE IN LA NOW blog. The reason I came here started with me being evicted from my apartment in Toronto for being too loud. There was also some innuendo about my landlady thinking that my place was a “drug stop”, which is wasn’t. Unless you count all the tussin. I’ll expand a bit later. My computer...