Merry Christmas Dad-Cat Soft Shoe

Happy belated Halloween everybody!

this guy witnessed the Halloween eggs

Smudgeorgie

From true blue Kathleen Phillips.

the hungry man wanted some food

so the hungry man ate up the english toffee ice cream, which he would have had for dessert after dinner, but he ate it at breakfast

then he made one egg and one egg white and put it on toast with lots of grated cheddar cheese — the rest of the bag

he ate the ice cream again because he couldn’t stop thinking about how the ice cream was almost done and how he’d have a sense of accomplishment if he finished the tub

he took a small break from eating, but not before eating the rest of the raincoast crisps with cream cheese on each crisp (he did not use a knife to spread the cream cheese, as the crisps were sharp enough to use as cheese-skimmers)

he didn’t take a break at all, actually, because he thought the cream cheese would taste nice on a bagel with some smoked salmon, a salmon he’d caught himself

the hungry man didn’t like chunks so he mixed the smoked salmon and cream cheese into a kind of paste and added scallions and lemon juice and extra salt and lots of pepper (the pepper wasn’t coarse enough but he didn’t give a fuck)

he wanted a nap, but felt guilty so he cooked up a pot of coffee and drank that with past-due caramel-flavoured coffee creamer; he noticed the caramel took away the taste of the beginnings of the curdling

his friend called and asked him to go over to the coffee shop and he said, “mike, i’m on my third cup…” but went anyway because going outside gave the hungry man an excuse to shower

(he always needed an excuse to shower)

at the coffee thing he had more coffee with regular cream and two sugars and a cookie with two kinds of chocolate inside

mike asked, “what’s the cookie like?” and the hungry man angrily said, “it’s like a fucking cookie, mike, like a fucking chocolate chip cookie, the most basic fucking cookie on earth!”

he was angry because mike’s question had interrupted his eating of the cookie

the hungry man generally liked to eat alone, for to eat with someone else meant constant interruptions

he got on his bicycle to go back home, where he fed the dog and mixed some of the smoked salmon into the dog’s food; it was nice to watch the dog enjoy a special treat

this gave him the idea to eat a bit more of the smoked salmon with more of the cream cheese and a different kind of cracker, a low-sodium saltine

he ate all these things and considered the box of salt water taffies from virginia beach, but it was difficult to tell which ones had a licorice flavour, which the hungry man hates.

(i am hungry man)

Does it mean something when your boyfriend and brother were identical babies?

Graham doesn’t want you to have pizza for breakfast.

This is my best friend’s daughter, Elton John. (Take by her dad, Elton David Stevenson John Sr.)

This is Arthur, a dog I’m fostering. I’m afraid he’ll never be adopted because he gets an erection every time you pet him. Yesterday his dick touched my leg three times.